How to increase your sex appeal

All manner of emotions and mental processes have crystallized 'round the impulse of sexual approach: they form the complex, abstract conception of love, without personal differentiation and fixation.

The late Calvin Coolidge once remarked: 'If I want 'em, I want 'em; if I don't, I don't!' True, he was speaking of apples. But he might have said precisely the same of women! And so might all men.
What accounts for the marked attraction which some persons possess to the opposite sex generally? Ability to answer that question demands understanding of that oft-used but little-understood term, 'sex appeal'.
This may help us to understand why a Clark Gable or a Robert Taylor has millions of feminine admirers. It may explain why the officers of the regiment occupy the stalls, the N.C.O.s the pit, and the privates the gallery to watch the caperings of a French lady who is singing a song in a language most of them do not understand.
But what is commonly called sex appeal will not explain why James, who is ugly and rather stupid, and Pamela, who is beautiful and brilliant, are madly in love with each other. That would entail solving what for centuries has been called 'the mystery of love'.
Sex appeal is linked with what Van de Velde, in the quotation which heads this chapter, calls 'the abstract conception of love'. The mutual infatuation of James and Pamela illustrates 'personal differentiation and fixation'. The love of each is fixed upon the other.
Most people believe that all attempts to explain love are utterly futile. Yet those who have read carefully what has been said regarding its stimulation will be well on the way to understanding how it arises. They will appreciate how the 'abstract conception of love' is built upon innumerable impressions which reach us by way of eye, ear, nose, and the other senses.

It is often said that sex appeal is something like personality 'impossible to define, but readily recognised when met'. Yet if we consider personality, we find that it includes certain qualities which are particularly strong in those whom we credit with a strong personality. Such factors as keen eyes, a pleasant speaking voice, charm of manner, grace of movement, spring immediately to mind.
If we make a closer study of the factors in personality we find that certain qualities which go deeper mental penetration, a wide range of ideas, a fluent gift of expression contribute greatly towards this highly-prized endowment.

As with personality, so with sex appeal. Some of the factors which count, though in different degrees so far as their appeal to different individuals goes, can be set down. They are those dealt with in the previous chapter. All sex appeal is based upon such desire-provoking factors. The sum total of these impressions emanating from an individual constitutes his or her sex appeal, just as the qualities of appearance and mental power mentioned above constitute personality.
Everybody has some personality. There are personalities which are far from pleasing, as we all know. But generally we credit people with 'personality' when it is present in a striking and pleasing degree. Every man and women has some sex appeal. But we usually employ the term in reference to those in whom it is strongly marked.
Clearly, there is a very close connection between what are commonly called 'personality' and 'sex appeal'. Many of the factors which go to the making of the one contribute equally to the other. Among them are a pleasing appearance, a graceful carriage, an attractive voice, and so on. But the physical element undoubtedly plays a much greater part in sex attraction than in 'personality'. Often it constitutes the greater part of the appeal, particularly in women.

Mental qualities sometimes have a strong appeal. Some women admire intellectual ability above all else. For them, mental power pulls much more strongly than handsome features, excellence of physique, or charm of manner. It is much rarer to find men attracted by intellectual power in women. As a rule, men are more susceptible to the physical allurements and charming ways of women than to any outstanding mental ability.
Cases of exceedingly ugly men who have won the undying devotion of beautiful women could be cited by the score. Often the explanation lies in the woman's intense admiration, which attains to the height of love, for the man's brilliance in creative work. The orator, artist, writer, may be brutal in his treatment of women, coarse in private life, grossly selfish. All these vices, combined together with physical repulsiveness, may be overlooked by a woman who loves him for his work.

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Increase sex appeal

How to increase your sex appeal